Thursday 9 June 2016

What makes a true submissive?

As I've mentioned before; the reason I only have a handful of owned submissives under My wing is because I take QUALITY over quantity. I have very high expectations and I expect My slaves to strive hard to meet them. Sadly; only a small percentage will last that distance and that small percentage are among the elite - those of whom are able to prove themselves worthy of My precious attention.

Anybody can type out an email and approach a Dominatrix with the intention of serving Her. But it's the thought and effort which goes into that email and indeed beyond; which makes a HUGE difference between gaining Her attention and finding themselves being ignored. "Surely it's just a case of doing as you're told" is a common misconception among many "would be" submissives. In truth it is far more complex than that. Obeying orders is just one small part of the whole dynamic of a D/s relationship and true servitude comes from within.

So what does make a good slave?

Let's talk about submission as a starting point. The fact is; submission is either given or it isn't. And when it is given; it's given in its entirety. No Dominatrix I know of will take on somebody who is only "a little bit" submissive. You either are or you aren't. And if you fall into the unsure category; then perhaps you're not ready to take the plunge into a D/s relationship until you have established what you really are.

By definition; to "submit" is to surrender all free will and give up control to another. And that control is absolute and extends far beyond the physical sense. The "controlled" should expect to have every single aspect of his life controlled for him - his thought patterns; his priorities, his day to day life; sometimes even his diet, his relationships, his wants and his needs and sometimes even his finances. And it is for this very reason why submission cannot be given at only half-measures. And on both sides of the coin; it is not to be undertaken by those who are only mildly curious. Just as giving up control comes with a certain amount of responsibility; taking control comes with a huge amount of responsibility.

As a Dominatrix; I am totally responsible for My slaves and not just their obedience. I am responsible for their physical, mental and emotional well-being. It is so very important not to lose sight of the fact that they are also human beings, Taking control of a slave is not as simple as say training a new puppy. Human beings by nature are far more complex than that and their psyche is often very very fragile. Respect and trust are the most important aspects of a D/s relationship. The submissive respects and trusts in you to keep them safe from any real harm. And you must respect their boundaries and weaknesses. You must also trust in them to be honest.

A true submissive will always put the needs of his Superiors above his own. Indeed; they understand that their needs are not important. That's not to say that they are robots who will willingly obey every command you give. Submission is more than that. It is a state of mind and will come easily to those who are genuinely submissive.

So from the word go; in that first point of contact with a Dominatrix; and before you even start taping out that application email; you need to ask yourself one very important question. "Why should I be considered?" To put things into perspective; I receive countless applications on a weekly basis. 90% of those applications are ignored. Why? Because they lack standards, care, effort and above all; selflessness. So think about the applications that fail to make the grade and consider why yours should stand out from the rest. What are you going to do to encourage said Dominatrix to actually READ your email? And how do you intend to illicit a positive response from Her? As a hint; "wrITing lYke Dis" is rude and unhelpful and will find itself in the bin....Don't rely on the spell-check either. There is no substitute for proof-reading to ensure good spelling and grammar.

Then comes the actual journey of servitude. Ask yourself this; "do you care more about what you get out of it or what your Mistress gets out of it?" Now this might seem an easy question to answer at first. But look at it again and consider another fact. If Mistress chooses to deny you any pleasure for an indeterminate period of time; will you consider yourself lucky or hard done to? If it's the latter; then servitude is not for you. If you understand that your frustration entertains Her and puts a smile on Her face; then your head is starting to get in the right place. And don't think you can fake your way through this process either. A good Dominatrix can spot that a mile off and it will quickly put a rather abrupt end to your journey.

Are you prepared to do whatever Mistress demands of you? If your answer starts with "yes but only if..." don't even continue that sentence. In fact; don't even continue reading. A true submissive realises that his servitude is not open for negotiation. He doesn't do what Mistress commands because he wants to. He does it because his Mistress is making him. That's not to say that Mistress will totally ignore your limits. These limits or "no go" areas are agreed upon before servitude begins. It is also mutual and...here's that important word again..RESPECTED. Mistress doesn't breach your limits on the understanding that you don't breach Hers. Respect is a two-way street.

And finally; is your selflessness "outside the box"? Are you intuitive in how you can further please your Mistress? Have you paid enough attention to Her to understand how best to please Her? Now this is something which separates the wheat from the chaff. A true submissive has the initiative to go above and beyond not because he wants something out of it; but because he receives real pleasure from the knowledge he has pleased his Mistress. And he comes up with more creative and SELFLESS ways to do this. Everything he does is with his Mistress in mind. And because it's with Mistress is mind; he always seeks Her permission before he does it. Making assumptions is the worst thing a sub and in fact a Domme can do. NEVER ASSUME. Just like every submissive is different; so is every Dominatrix. And we Dommes are VERY unpredictable. We make it our mission to be unpredictable - that's how we keep you chomping at the bit to continue pleasing us. The steps are simple - think, ask and act accordingly. And accept when Mistress says "no". Boys who whine and complain are not submissive. They're needy and they're selfish. I personally don't give the time of day to needy boys. I prefer boys who respect the word "no" as My final answer. Neither should a submissive expect Mistress to back up Her decision with a reason. The answer is simply; "because She has said so."


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