Saturday, 27 June 2015

When Kink turns to love....

BDSM, Fetish and dominating men is not all about being commanding and authoritative. While a good percentage of the time; yes that certainly is the case. But sometimes, just sometimes; it's about listening and showing empathy.

Take this afternoon for example when I was logged in to take some BDSM/Fetish calls. I had a very long call with an elderly gentleman who until 15 years ago was in a D/s relationship with his wife. She was his Domme and he was Her sub. They enjoyed many activities together including humiliation and cuckholding. But their favourite activity was trampling and ball-busting. And believe Me; from what he was telling Me, his wife was very very good at it. In fact; he still has some scars from the trampling.

He was telling Me all the ways in which they used to play together and even with the wife's boyfriend. And while I was very much enjoying listening to him; it was bitter-sweet.

They had become a couple in the usual way and were very much vanilla until their honeymoon; when his wife admitted she wanted to kick him and trample him. They indulged and that became part of their married life for the next 49 years. Every day, several times a day they indulged. His wife's friends also indulged for his humiliation. His wife's boyfriend indulged for his humiliation. He became a doormat in the physical sense because he enjoyed his trampling fetish and because he adored his wife. He talked about the agony he had experienced at her feet and her heels and how his balls would ache for days on end. But he spoke about it fondly and clearly idolised his wife; as he told Me how beautiful she was and how he would have crawled over hot coals for her; if it made her happy. He never took a single penny from her; even though she went to work. But he gave her everything because he loved her so much and loved how she was just as keen to explore their mutual love of trampling fetish. She enjoyed giving him a bloody good kick - and he enjoyed receiving a bloody good kick. Neither one of them could get through the day unless they had played together - such was the nature of their kinky relationship.

Sadly; their fun came to an end 15 years go when his wife passed away. And as he talked about how much he missed her and their games; I could hear real heart-break in his voice. He had lost his soul-mate; you could just tell. His life was never the same again. He looked at the scars where she had made her mark on him; and they gave him a modicum of comfort. But he missed her; not just as a wife and life partner; but for her sheer cruelty and dominance and for what she meant to his entire life.

The most poignant part of our conversation was that he still has all her heels. He used to take her out shoe-shopping every weekend so that they could chose a nice destructive pair of heels together. She always picked boots which were steel-toe capped because it would deliver a nice blow to his balls. He installed sponge in the shoes so that she would not hurt her feet when she kicked him. And he still has them - in the wardrobe. And whenever he needs to "indulge" he takes out a pair of her heels; worships them, and presses them against his body to imagine it's her trampling him again. "But it's not the same," he told Me sadly. "It's not her doing it, so it's not the same."

I will admit; I had the biggest lump in My throat whilst talking to this sweet gentleman. I really did feel so sorry for him. Yes; I can be a tough bitch when I want to be, but when you cross the path of somebody who has lost the part which completes him; you would have to have a heart of stone not to be touched by it.

Did this gentleman want to get off? No he didn't. He wanted to talk and lament the loss of his beloved wife and Domme. He wanted to express how much he missed her. He wanted to share his fond memories of her with another. He needed somebody to listen and understand how much he absolutely adored this woman - and everything she did to him. And yes; part of him wanted Me to take the place of his wife - just as a form of escapism from his sad reality. Did I pretend to be his wife for the sake of this call? No. And I told him I wouldn't for the simple fact that I didn't want to encroach or sully the memory of what they had together. I think he appreciated that and he said he finally felt alive again for having spoken to Me. For that 40 minutes; he had been taken on a trip down sweet memory lane and I was so thrilled to have taken that journey with him.

Forget gifts and tributes - when you experience a call like this; no amount of money comes close to the sense of pride you have when you realise that you have at least for a little while; put the light back into somebody's life. This gentleman was an absolute delight to talk to; and I'm sure I'll have many more conversations with him in the future. What he had was his wife was special, really special. It was a beautiful, loving, kinky relationship, which came to a sad end. And so dedicated to her was he; he now just doesn't know what to do with himself. He has lost the meaning to his life. Just for a short while; I was able to bring some of it back. And that really did make My day.

Friday, 26 June 2015

Session review from pain-sub

Pain-sub was really put through is paces today. Here's his report of today's session:

I have just had the most intense pain session I have ever had to endure in my life for Mistress pleasure. It took me to learning to endure a lot more pain for her than I have ever felt before.
 
I arrived at the session wearing my chastity cage as I was instructed to keep on unless Mistress permits otherwise. I was then instructed to remove the cage and then hitting myself with the back of a wooden spoon until I was hard enough for Mistress. Once that was achieved I had to then hit my balls to prepare them for the session ahead. Then I had to do the same to my cock head.
 
I had to attach nipple clamps and then hold the chain in my mouth until the session was over. This made the nipples feel like they were being stretched as far as they could go.
 
Once my cock was hard enough and my balls made tender I then had to rub them all over with sandpaper. This made them extremely tender to the touch to intensify any feeling I would get later.
 
I then had to rub tabasco sauce all around my balls and all over my cock. I then had to follow this with rubbing tiger balm into the balls and all around the foreskin. This made my balls and cock extremely hot and I could feel them all the time.
 
There was no rest from the pain as I then had to attach 8 bulldog clips to my balls and thread string through them and then 4 to my foreskin and thread some more string through them. The pain from the clips was intense and with them being a lot of them I could feel it all over my balls and cock especially with them being tender and burning hot. The string on the clips on my balls were then used to pull my balls up. I could feel pain all through them as they were lifted high and held up. Then the same was done with the string on the clips on my foreskin. This made the pain of the clips intensify. I then had to repeat this first lifting the string on my balls high then the wooden spoon was used on the back of my balls. This had the double effect of causing pain to the already tender balls and making the pain on the clips higher as they pulled and jiggled due to the spoon hitting the balls. This was then done on my cock by lifting my cock high by the strings and then the spoon was used to hit the back of my cock hard. This again caused pain to the already tender cock and intensified the pain on the clips as they pulled and jiggled.
 
Mistress then decided I needed some exercise so I had a parachute attached to my balls with weights hanging off them. The exercise consisted of 20 squats, 15 lunges with each leg and 15 star jumps. Throughout the exercise I could feel my balls being stretched as the weights swung vigorously around and my nipples were being stretched further due to each movement causing my mouth to go further away from them tugging harder on the chain.
 
However my suffering was not over and I had the parachute removed and replaced by a ball stretcher which pulled my balls away from my cock making them swell out. I had to stand with my legs parted wide and then a big bunch of nettles was then used to repeatedly whip my cock and balls. This torture seemed to last a long time and was the most painful I have felt from nettle torture. I then had to turn around and the nettles were then used to whip my bottom. I have never suffered this before and could feel the itching all over and the whipping seemed to last a long time too. When this was over I was permitted to sit and could feel my bottom really itching all over. The nettle torture was not over though as I then had a handful of the leaves rubbed all over my cock and balls adding a lot more to the irritation and itching.
 
After prolonged suffering I was permitted to cum however this was only allowed by having to kneel on beer bottle tops spread over the floor facing upwards. The pain from kneeling on the bottle tops was so intense and was the worst I have ever felt and distracted from the pleasure of wanking as well as the pain on my nipples from the clamps being tugged hard by my mouth and the pain on my cock and balls from the session. The pleasure was hard to feel due to the intense pain which was being felt more. When I came it was a heavy mixture of pleasure taken over by pain and I was made to cum into a brandy glass.
 
As soon as I was allowed to cum I was instructed to immediately put the chastity cage back on and told it has to remain unless Mistress says otherwise. This made it impossible to do anything to relieve the constant itching from the nettles intensified by the heat of the tabasco sauce and tiger balm. I can constantly feel itching and heat from my cock, balls and bottom. It is very frustrating that a my cock is caged there is nothing I can do to get to it to relieve it and I just feel like I constantly want to scratch it but can not and feel that I will feel this for a long time yet.
 
I had to drink all the cum from the glass after putting the cage back on and Mistress has informed me in the past that when she does allow me to cum I have to consume it all.
 
When I first visited Mistress the goal was to reach a pain level of 10. During this session I reached 40 which shows that through a lot of training I have been taught to suffer more and more which I believe pleases Mistress.
 
After the session my nipples are tender and still feel stretched, my cock and balls are tender, hot, stretched, and itching all over and my bottom is itching all over. To make it worse there is no way I can get to my cock to relieve the pain and intense itching at all.
 
As requested I attach pictures of my nettled thighs and bottom. To add to this Mistress has informed me that my pain and suffering is being shared with whoever she decides to add humiliation.



Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Pain-sub's diary of frustration..

Pain sub has been keeping a detailed diary of his frustration over the last few days. I'm sure you'll agree that it is HIGHLY entertaining! But if he thinks he's frustrated now; he's going to hate the next few weeks...

After enduring having my cock and balls softened by a wooden spoon, stretched with some exercise with weights attached, sandpapered to make them tender, smothered in tiger balm to heat them up then rubbed with a handful of nettles they were very tender and itchy. I had to put them immediately into a chastity cage. My cock was very irritated and itchy but there was no way I could get to it to relieve it. I was in a lot of discomfort and could not do anything to help it. The chastity device has an unforgiving metal ring to go over and behind the testicles. It is hard to get on and with my balls being tender, heated and nettled it was harder to achieve.
 
The first night was very uncomfortable as I had to endure the cage stopping any access to scratching myself to help the itching. I had to get used to living with the cage on including going to the toilet and wearing it under clothes.
 
When I woke the first morning my cock was trying to get hard in the cage but it was restricted from getting fully hard which was very uncomfortable especially as it was very itchy too.
 
On the Saturday I asked Mistress if I may have permission to remove the cage and was informed that if I sent in a picture it would be considered. I sent the picture and was later informed that I had to keep the cage on and I had no choice in the matter and to ask could mean I had to keep it on longer. I later read Mistresses website and realised that she had posted the picture on the website. That made me feel more humiliated knowing that anyone can see my predicament and I could do nothing about it. The comments mentioned on the website about the cage being too big added to the humiliation knowing that people could see and laugh at my situation. It was also worrying thinking about the comment about perhaps being made to go swimming in a pair of tiny swimming trunks. The cage feels large, cumbersome and heavy under ordinary clothes so the thought of something small would mean the bulge of the cage would be so obvious which was frightening. 
 
When wearing the cage under my clothes it felt really heavy and I was forever conscious of it and felt that it was noticeable as it felt so big under the clothes. This added to the discomfort of not being able to get to the itching to relieve it.
 
On Tuesday when my new device arrived Mistress made me swap them. The new devise is a bit more comfortable in that there is not an unforgiving ring behind the testicles but it felt that there was less space inside the cage than the first one.
 
Having to watch porn whilst Mistress teased me merciless made the cock grow large inside the cage being squeezed by the rings. The teasing was merciless and when Mistress said how much it excited her it made me even more harder feeling really constricted inside the rings of the cage. Mistress made it obvious that she controlled when I was in chastity or out of it or when I was allowed to be excited and hard and when I was allowed to cum which excited me more. After all the teasing I was squeezed hard into the cage and so excited leaving me frustrated and desperate but unable to do anything about it. As I got dressed for work I had to wait for my cock to go softer before I could go to work which took a while. The new cage felt more comfortable under my clothes but I was constantly aware of it being there and was always careful that it was not obvious to see under the clothes. Whilst I was at work I kept thinking of the teasing and how it pleased Mistress so much. I was feeling desperate and frustrated all day and had to be extremely careful not to get hard again which was humiliating.
 
I am now constantly aware of being in chastity and this makes it more frustrating and makes me feel more desperate to cum.
 
 

Monday, 22 June 2015

But why should I pay for Mistress' time?

So here's a question for you. Let's just say that you need the services of a lawyer. You book an appointment and go and see them to discuss your case. And during this discussion; would you ask said lawyer; "can I just have a free sample of your legal services?" ? No I don't think you would.

So why then is it seemingly okay for you to ask this of a Professional Dominatrix?

When you serve a Dominatrix be it in a real time session or webcam session, you are getting far more than a quick thrill. You're getting an appointment with somebody who is an expert in the field of kink and fetish. A lot of time and effort goes into the session. Props, clothing, equipment, knowledge, expertise...the list continues. You are enjoying a SERVICE! The fact that it's in the adult profession makes absolutely zero difference. Whether it was in the healthcare profession, legal profession or even the automotive profession - you still have to pay.

So you're horny and that's your excuse for wanting it for free. You need to satisfy your sexual appetite. Based on that theory; should it be free for you to satisfy your hunger? It amounts to the same. If you want free sexual pleasure, then go find it. But don't bother trying to get it from a Professional - because a refusal will often offend.

Today, I've been inundated with silly boys who seem to think they are exempt from paying. "I'll pay another day." "Can I just have free preview?" "Wow £2 per minute is a bit steep - I would prefer the real thing." In answer to the last one - you will not find a Professional Dominatrix who will charge £2 per minute for a real-time session - EVER. Good luck with trying to find one!

You get out of serving Me what you put in. I'm certainly not here to demand money because I feel you owe Me one. I'm here to give you an enjoyable kinky experience. But I expect to be paid for My time. Offering to retweet Me in return for a session is going to be ignored. I don't need you to retweet Me. I have spent the best part of 16 years working in marketing and promotion - I can take care of My own advertising thanks! I also have plenty of followers who will retweet Me without expecting something in return....

Those who are prepared to pay for My services are all very pleased with the experience. I give 100% in ALL of My sessions. I take the time to find out what is you need. I listen to your concerns. I respect that you have a life outside of our sessions and protect your privacy. I provide a listening service for those who need to get their kinky fetish concerns off their chest. I provide online companionship to those who need it. I am a Dominatrix who wears a lot of different hats - counsellor, listener, teacher, therapist, confidante. I allow you to tell Me all about your darkest secrets; safe in knowledge that unless otherwise specified; they remain 100% confidential. I allow you to unburden yourself in the majority of cases. I also look after you. I ensure that our play is safe, sane and consensual. I make every effort to ensure that you are not placed in harms way and that there isn't any risk of seriously physical injury or psychological trauma - and that is a LOT of responsibility. Remember that.

Therefore; common courtesy should dictate that it is only right and proper that you should be prepared to pay for not just My time but also a very extensive and complex service. If you feel that you should be exempt then I suggest you move along...because you will also be exempt from My attention.