Controlling a submissive is not always about whips and chains. It is a very common misconception that serving a Dominatrix involves physical suffering and pain. On the contrary. In actual fact; domination is 90% psychological and 10 % physical.
My subs enjoy the fact that each session has a lasting effect and it has nothing to do with pain and marking. Many of My slaves prefer not to have marks, for obvious reasons. Sessions are a well kept secret between Domme and sub; which is why trust is a very important issue in this field. When you are serving a Dominatrix; you are putting your complete trust in Her and the fact that you do have a life outside of your kinks.
I digress. The lasting effect My subs enjoy is the way I make them feel. Whilst they fear Me and My unpredictable nature; they also feel safe with Me. They feel a sense of freedom in being able to express their kinky side without fear of their privacy being breached. I suppose in a sense I am like a kinky "Agony Aunt", except I've no interest in hearing about how their wife fucked the babysitter and now she's pregnant (unless it's a cuckold session of course!). I'm more interested in what makes them tick.
More often that not; they don't necessarily have to tell Me what makes them tick. With the very basic amount of information; I can start working My way into their psyche and start paying attention to "triggers". It is these triggers which alert Me to what they crave and need. The more triggers I pick upon, the more layers I peel away until I finally reach their kinky core - and it's then that I've entered their mind - in every sense.
It's kind of hard to explain what the triggers are. It could be a reference to something, or even a sound they make. It could even be an almost imperceptible flash in their eyes. But whatever it is; the moment I see it, that's when I know I've got them. It's like fishing in a way. You cast out your line with a nice juicy worm. The fish sees the worm and are instantly drawn to it. And then they take a bite - that's the moment you reel them in. But of course you have to take care. Reel them in too slowly and they'll lose interest. But do it too quickly and you'll lose your grip on them. How quickly or slowly you reel them in takes practice - and depends on the fish.
No, I'm not talking about angling here. What I'm talking about right now; are the unique differences between each sub. It is very foolish to assume every submissive is the same; just as it's equally foolish to assume you know what each sub wants before you've cast out that juicy worm. Patience and probing - that's the key.
But once you've caught them; that's when the real fun begins. It's then that you start the spell. The physical domination is just a small part of it. You've walked into their mind and now it's time to start taking full control of it. And this is the bit I love. What can I say? I adore psychology - and I adore working with psychology.
I like to use a sub's triggers to gain control of him. If I receive a trigger which tells Me he needs chastity - then that's the route I'll go down. I'll talk about how he deserves to be locked away - and how he will never know how long I intend to keep him caged for. Days, weeks, months...perhaps forever. The threat of being in chastity on a permanent basis is a very big turn on for somebody with a chastity fetish. It's the ultimate form of control - Mistress has taken complete control of sub's sexual freedom - the sexual freedom they once took for granted.
Or maybe they want to be cuckolded. Another psychological fetish. No, it's not about seeing the wife get fucked by a big black guy - that is only part of the fetish. It's about sub being completely emasculated. Take away that machismo and what has he got left? Nothing. It's at that point he's completely powerless. It is at that point he has a void - and so he needs to fill that void. How does he fill it? Well that's through several ways. The first is to obey the one who now controls him. He obeys because he realises that without his male pride, he has nothing to identify his gender in an emotional sense. All he can do is sit back and watch his wife enjoy being pleasured by another man. And he does this because it's a window to what he once had, but will never have again. He takes pleasure from being cruelly reminded of what only a real man can have.
Couple that with queening and chastity and you have very powerful control over that sub. You are reminding him of his place. Yes, he may lick his wife, but only to clean up what another man has left. You're showing him that he only serves a purpose - a means to an end - and a disposable means at that. Once he's done his cleaning duty; he's forgotten about. His role is tiny and is over very quickly.
The chastity part reminds him that it's not about him or his pleasure. He quickly learns his new role - to give pleasure - but not ever to expect pleasure himself. You are using psychology to objectify your sub. He's not a person any more. He's a tool; and he's there to do a job for another. But never to serve himself. This is the every essence of Female Supremacy.
It's is these feelings My subs enjoy and remember the most. It's not about how good the orgasm was (don't forget - orgasm isn't guaranteed in My sessions.) neither is it about how painful the torture was. It's about the roller-coaster of emotions they go through at every stage of the session. I've known slaves break down and cry at the end of a session - because the emotions they felt were so powerful. All those different feelings whizzing around and bumping in to each other have to go somewhere - and the dam bursts - the out-pouring begins. This is why many of My subs will agree that a session is a great stress reliever. IF they are allowed to cum; they release a lot more than ejaculate!
I enjoy that fact that I can experience this with them. Seeing that sense of relief on their face at the end of the session is just as enjoyable as the actual sessions itself. Which is why I said I am like a kinky Agony Aunt. My subs are unburdening themselves - through their fantasies, their desires, their memories and their experiences. They are making sense of what they are feeling. And I'm sharing that journey with them. It is that which makes being a Dominatrix extra special!
