Saturday, 27 June 2015

When Kink turns to love....

BDSM, Fetish and dominating men is not all about being commanding and authoritative. While a good percentage of the time; yes that certainly is the case. But sometimes, just sometimes; it's about listening and showing empathy.

Take this afternoon for example when I was logged in to take some BDSM/Fetish calls. I had a very long call with an elderly gentleman who until 15 years ago was in a D/s relationship with his wife. She was his Domme and he was Her sub. They enjoyed many activities together including humiliation and cuckholding. But their favourite activity was trampling and ball-busting. And believe Me; from what he was telling Me, his wife was very very good at it. In fact; he still has some scars from the trampling.

He was telling Me all the ways in which they used to play together and even with the wife's boyfriend. And while I was very much enjoying listening to him; it was bitter-sweet.

They had become a couple in the usual way and were very much vanilla until their honeymoon; when his wife admitted she wanted to kick him and trample him. They indulged and that became part of their married life for the next 49 years. Every day, several times a day they indulged. His wife's friends also indulged for his humiliation. His wife's boyfriend indulged for his humiliation. He became a doormat in the physical sense because he enjoyed his trampling fetish and because he adored his wife. He talked about the agony he had experienced at her feet and her heels and how his balls would ache for days on end. But he spoke about it fondly and clearly idolised his wife; as he told Me how beautiful she was and how he would have crawled over hot coals for her; if it made her happy. He never took a single penny from her; even though she went to work. But he gave her everything because he loved her so much and loved how she was just as keen to explore their mutual love of trampling fetish. She enjoyed giving him a bloody good kick - and he enjoyed receiving a bloody good kick. Neither one of them could get through the day unless they had played together - such was the nature of their kinky relationship.

Sadly; their fun came to an end 15 years go when his wife passed away. And as he talked about how much he missed her and their games; I could hear real heart-break in his voice. He had lost his soul-mate; you could just tell. His life was never the same again. He looked at the scars where she had made her mark on him; and they gave him a modicum of comfort. But he missed her; not just as a wife and life partner; but for her sheer cruelty and dominance and for what she meant to his entire life.

The most poignant part of our conversation was that he still has all her heels. He used to take her out shoe-shopping every weekend so that they could chose a nice destructive pair of heels together. She always picked boots which were steel-toe capped because it would deliver a nice blow to his balls. He installed sponge in the shoes so that she would not hurt her feet when she kicked him. And he still has them - in the wardrobe. And whenever he needs to "indulge" he takes out a pair of her heels; worships them, and presses them against his body to imagine it's her trampling him again. "But it's not the same," he told Me sadly. "It's not her doing it, so it's not the same."

I will admit; I had the biggest lump in My throat whilst talking to this sweet gentleman. I really did feel so sorry for him. Yes; I can be a tough bitch when I want to be, but when you cross the path of somebody who has lost the part which completes him; you would have to have a heart of stone not to be touched by it.

Did this gentleman want to get off? No he didn't. He wanted to talk and lament the loss of his beloved wife and Domme. He wanted to express how much he missed her. He wanted to share his fond memories of her with another. He needed somebody to listen and understand how much he absolutely adored this woman - and everything she did to him. And yes; part of him wanted Me to take the place of his wife - just as a form of escapism from his sad reality. Did I pretend to be his wife for the sake of this call? No. And I told him I wouldn't for the simple fact that I didn't want to encroach or sully the memory of what they had together. I think he appreciated that and he said he finally felt alive again for having spoken to Me. For that 40 minutes; he had been taken on a trip down sweet memory lane and I was so thrilled to have taken that journey with him.

Forget gifts and tributes - when you experience a call like this; no amount of money comes close to the sense of pride you have when you realise that you have at least for a little while; put the light back into somebody's life. This gentleman was an absolute delight to talk to; and I'm sure I'll have many more conversations with him in the future. What he had was his wife was special, really special. It was a beautiful, loving, kinky relationship, which came to a sad end. And so dedicated to her was he; he now just doesn't know what to do with himself. He has lost the meaning to his life. Just for a short while; I was able to bring some of it back. And that really did make My day.

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