BDSM is a form of therapy.

What kind of person chooses to serve a Dominatrix? Now this is a question I've been asked many times over the years and truthfully; it is a lot more complex that simply giving a generalised answer. The fact is; there is always a deep-rooted reason why somebody would choose to give up control to another and the reasons for this are often rather complex. 

Many of the men (and women) who choose to serve; are often people who are in a position of power in their daily vanilla lives. Often they have an occupation where a great deal of responsibility is held firmly on their shoulders. They are responsible for those below them. They make important decisions. They are in full control and have to work hard to maintain that control. They have people depending on them to guide them on the best path. Such responsibility can cause a great deal of mental and emotional pressure and in some cases; anguish. Being in control for 12 to 15 hours a day is hard work both on the mind and the body. These people often find it difficult to relax, particularly in the case of professionals with a lot of responsibility.  Where do they find that light relief to allow them to shed that responsibility and go back to being a human being? The answer is; in giving up that control and responsibility to another.

Many professional people who use the services of a Dominatrix; will tell you that the feeling of surrendering their power to another is at once; completely refreshing. They don’t have to make any decisions because Mistress makes the decisions for them. They are not in charge for a couple of hours. Somebody else is taking charge and being responsible for them. They are relieved of the pressure of being in a position of responsibility because it’s time for somebody else to take control. All they have to do is obey whatever is instructed of them.

In short; it is their way of unwinding and recharging. Can a person truly retain a position of power without having some sort of outlet for the pressure? The answer is “no”. We all know the toll stress and pressure can take on the body and mind. So to give control to another gives them the opportunity to shed that stress. Some people might choose to have a relaxing day in a spa. Some might choose to listen to some music. And some, like My clients; choose indulge in a bit of BDSM because they enjoy the opportunity to have somebody else take charge for a change.

But these aren't the only type of people whom might choose to serve Me. While it is true that a good percentage of My clients are in fact people in positions of power; there are also a percentage whom serve because of an itch they've long since had. This itch can often be traced back to an event in their childhood. And again; it’s helping them to have some mental comfort and de-stress.

Take for example; a man who wants to enact a schoolboy fantasy. He wants to be caned in front of others. He wants people to watch while he’s being physically chastised for being naughty. It’s not the pain of being caned which plays a huge part in his fantasy – although that is an important part of it. It’s the humiliation. The fact that such an intimate act is out in the open. People are watching this act take place. There is the shame of having his bottom bared. There is the same of crying out when he’s caned. There is the same of being put on display after the caning; an intimate part of his body has been punished and his pride has been cruelly taken away.

Many men who want this fantasy have often experienced this as a child. It may have been just once or two times in their childhood; but they remember it vividly. And they remember how they felt at the end of it, particularly if the punishment was delivered by a woman. In their adult lives; they seek a powerful woman to “punish” them again; but their life-partner isn't too keen. So instead; they approach a Dominatrix, who will be only too pleased to cater for this desire.

The fact is; that to many clients; seeing a Dominatrix takes them back to a period of their lives where they felt safe and care-free. Life was so much simpler when somebody else was taking responsibility for them. They didn't have the day to day financial worries, worries about the kids, worries about work, when the car insurance is due for renewal, and the wife nagging them for yet another ski holiday. When they were children; they didn't know what stress was. To them; stress was missing the ice-cream van or wondering if Santa will bring that toy they've been aching for. So why shouldn't they go back to a time when life was simple? Wouldn't we all like to have that luxury from time to time?